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objective: cancel your membership (escape the roach motel)
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YOUR MEMBERSHIP: SUPER-GOLD-STAR
You have been a member ever since you signed up 5 years ago to get a random discount. You don't work out here much anymore, but we still charge you monthly:)
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COMPLAINTS?
Submit your complaints here and we'll get back you at some point probably.
coolguy@thisismyemail.com
I feel trapped & am having a difficult time escaping. SOS!
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COMMIT FOR LIFE

For only a lot of money every month, you can tell people you have a gym membership!